More times than often, female folk fail to realize that communication with male counterparts goes beyond getting to know each other, the exchange of sweet words, kisses and eventually, pillow talk. Or that the Law of Attraction is not always fixated on dazzling eyes, a charming smile, perceived charisma or top-notch curves. The birth of sapiosexuality was strung from the male perspective, I believe, where the man wants to know what this breathtaking, drop-dead gorgeous lady has more to offer than looks. What is her intellectual stance on everyday matters? How does she handle situations when they arise? Can he be proud to communicate with her all day, every day and anywhere?
This is not merely limited to relationship and marriage compositions. It extends to communication between friends, siblings and even mother-son communication. A man sees himself as a man despite the relationship status. He can set aside several communication flaws for the sake of maintaining peace and serenity until the straw that broke the camel’s back is released, and all hell breaks loose.
How then can this be curbed? Let’s dive right in with this guide:
1. After a long day at work
Your man comes back from the office looking stressed out and tired. How do you communicate with him?
a. Do you bombard him with the issues of your day?
b. Do you start complaining about something he forgot to do?
c. Do you jump on him, professing how much you missed him?
I bet only 1% of ladies know the right thing to do.
Remember that he expects you to relieve him of his work stress. He wants you to show interest in his day, to find out why he looks so tired (whilst you perhaps fix him a nice bath and get him something to eat). He needs to vent.
With this in mind, the answer is (d) let him talk and de-stress. And whatever you do, DO NOT place blame on his mistakes He needs you on his side and expects you to ignore his errors and soothe him.
2. While out, at occasions and events
So you and your man go out to a social gathering – be it church, a wedding or a party. Conversations start in groups, and you are both lucky enough to be part of them. For some weird reason, you find yourselves on opposite sides of this discussion. How do you handle this?
a. Do you act stubborn, making sure your opinion doesn’t change no matter what?
b. Do you take charge of the argument, cut his conversations short and act all superior?
c. You try to be supportive of his points whilst strategically expressing your opinion?
f. Do you begin to throw tantrums because you expect him to be on your side (because you are his lady)?
If your answer is C, give yourself a tap on the back. You have saved yourself from several awkward drives home.
The average man does not like his ego being truncated, be it in private or in gatherings. He expects his lady to be careful enough to not emasculate him. He knows his weaknesses but doesn’t want to make them public. A wise woman knows how to relay her messages without bruising her man’s ego.
We all have fun times with names dropped during playful arguments and discussions. We say things randomly on the spur of the moment which are often overlooked. That’s right until they become repetitive. Fool, ode, mumu and words like these pop up in simple conversations which strike nerves both ways (not just on the guy’s part). Most ladies use that medium to drop subtle “shade” and chip in insults stylishly thinking they got away with it. But sorry sister, he just let it slide. When it gets too constant, he will surely react.
“Baby I was joking!”
He won’t buy that response. Neither does he appreciate receiving late apologies, as this gives him time to brood over the issue and link it to past errs and issues. Apologize immediately an issue is pointed out.
After reading these pointers, the question is, do you really know how to communicate with your man?
Are you looking back at scenarios where he let out an outburst and you thought you were totally not at fault, or you thought you were being helpful?
Evaluate yourself calmly. Men deserve as much attention as ladies crave, and healthy communication cannot be overlooked.
Guest blogger’s bio
Alicia James is an incisive businesswoman and passionate blogger who runs her own blog www.aliciajames101.wordpress.com. She started it two years ago to document her stories, experiences and life lessons with the view to becoming a source of inspiration to her readers and to be a looking-glass through which the younger generations find solace.